It’s always frustrating to miss out on the top spot of something and end up in second place, but you have to give Britain credit for punching above its weight. In the world rankings, we’re solidly on course for the silver medal behind the good old US of A. Admittedly, the specific competition we’re talking…

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Boris Johnson, a man with an empty void of droning Latin phrases where his soul should be, wanted to be Prime Minister his entire life. Then he managed it, the end. Except that it wasn’t the end. It was only the beginning. Boris entered 10 Downing Street, ascendant, triumphant… and then realised he was still…

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Henry Ford once said, “if we’d have asked the public what they wanted, they’d have said ‘a faster horse.’” In spite of this warning, British Chancellor (effectively Vice President) Sajid Javid has decided to launch what he is calling a competition, based on the idea that Britain’s exit from the EU will allow the slashing…

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It might have been a slow news week, what with the President of the United States having been impeached for only the third time in history. Because never mind that – the whole internet is apparently losing its shit over Joe Rogan supporting Bernie Sanders. Really, this is a comment on how ludicrously crooked the…

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Gwyneth Paltrow has released a vagina scented candle. I know. In any reasonable world, if someone said that to you, you’d assume they were on drugs, or possibly have them committed. Rightly so. But we live in an unreasonable world, where sentences like “Gwyneth Paltrow has released a vagina scented candle” actually have meaning and…

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As a resident of the UK, it falls to me to comment on the election of Boris Johnson. What’s more, my editor has prissily informed me that “screaming until my eyeballs haemorrhage” isn’t a proper response and that I’ll have to put my thoughts in writing. I guess I’m just too avante garde for some…

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Editor’s Note: In this, the final episode of Luke Haines’ comic series, the women of Laketown decide they’ve had just about enough, thank you very much. “Jeeeeeeeeesus,” I winced as I sat up. At least I appeared to be in a tent this time. There’s no party like an after-battle party, especially a multi-species after-battle…

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Editor’s Note: The (comic) battle begins! Luke Haines has given us a series of parodic pieces that never so subtly trashes Baby Boomers, and some of his own generation. This week, we get to the good stuff…with lots of swords and battle axes. The Orcish army arrived in the afternoon, a stinking, clamouring horde that…

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Editor’s Note: Things are getting tense in Laketown! In this, the most recent episode of Luke Haines thoroughly insane parodic series attacking Baby Boomers, Dragons, Orcs, Elfs, the Labor Party, Capitalists, and, uh, well, a lot of people. So, read on! There’s about to be dirty work at the crossroads! I made my way down…

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Editor’s Note: This is next installment of Luke Haines parodic series in which he takes Baby Boomers to task for all their sheer snottiness. But, not to be outdone, now he’s going after Dwarfs and wizards and elfs and Orcs and Labor politicians, too. Gotta admire a man with a broad aim. I stayed in…

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